Pull me down hard,

2011-09-02T00:03:00.000+08:00

SELF PROCLAIMED HOLIDAY STARTS NOW!

Strongest

2011-09-01T01:58:00.002+08:00

The heart weights about 11 ounces and is the size of a clenched fist. The heart of a man performs at about 60 to 80 beats a minute. In a year, it beats some 40million times. At each beat it takes in nearly a quarter of a pint of blood; in a single day it pumps 2,200 gallons of blood, and in the course of a single lifetime about 56million gallons. Is there any other engine capable of carrying such heavy work over such a long period of time without needing to be repaired?
Obviously the human heart is a small yet highly efficient piece of equipment.

OMG

2011-08-30T02:43:00.000+08:00

Sitting for my first paper in less than 28hours time. A shit load of notes to be memorised and digested into my brain. Can it be done within this 28hours time(including my shit/eat/sleep/work time as well). DOOMED. I've work tomorrow as well......

Can it be done? Will it be done?

It must be done.

2011-08-28T23:43:00.002+08:00

Popping back in bittersuga-r for the most random update....
Its been years I've known this boy, to be exact, 3 years.

Never regretted getting back together with you. We had our most awesome time spent together, we giggle, cry, quarrel, walk out of the door, slam the door, we tickle, we tell stories, we had alcohol, we kiss, we sleep, we make up.
Hah, I don't know how to carry on writing but I guess I'd just go with the flow of words.....

We're no longer USS virgins! I had one of my best day in my life on 6th Aug at Universal Studios Singapore with my favourite boy.

Life was great with us, its already the 7th month of us getting back together and yes I do feel the intense feeling between us, you're starting to feel restless in this relationship again. I guess its normal as there's bound to be anyway.

I still love you, I guess there isn't a need for me to give you constant reminders of this love. Its stagnant, it'll always be and I'll always love you.

Anyway back to my own personal life....
School have been really tough, I can feel the stress already :(
It's merely 2 months in school and here I am having my major papers already can you tell me how to not stress ah :(
Sigh, but whatever it is, I hope I'll be able to catch up with the pace!
Exams are in 2 days time and it'll all end within 5days!
I can't wait and here comes my ONE MONTH holiday where I get to enjoy my freedom(once again)
Will be flying to Bangkok this September..........Will post about my bangkok trip when I'm back not for reading purposes(i assume noone is reading la hahaha), its for resminscing!

I regret not blogging for the past 7months where baby and I were still sweet like honey! Haha, but as they says, the heart has it all! Till then, off to mug xx!

2011-05-09T21:37:00.003+08:00

These are all extraordinarily beautiful..

2011-05-04T22:45:00.001+08:00

I get sad sometimes, unknowingly.

My heart dies a little

2011-05-02T22:57:00.001+08:00

Text
I’m a bitch to my parents most of the time. I don’t mean to be, and I feel guilty everytime, but then I’m still a bitch over and over.

2011-05-02T22:56:00.001+08:00

words do not express thoughts very well. they always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish"

2011-05-02T22:55:00.001+08:00

"Because sometimes it’s easier to say, “I hate you,” than “I miss you, I wish we didn’t fight; I wish you would call me sometimes.” Because sometimes, it’s easier to think, screw life, screw work, screw everything, than admit that you’re overwhelmed and feel like you’re drowning. Because sometimes, it’s easier to admit the simple things than say the hard things and realize how much you’ve been struggling and how much you feel as if life has gone out of your control."

2011-04-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

2011-04-28T22:52:00.000+08:00

2011-04-27T23:30:00.002+08:00

I'm aware I seldom blog, blog about my feelings and whatsoever. - because through so long, I was never so sad like the past.

Seriously, is this a good news or bad news?

2011-04-27T23:27:00.002+08:00

2011-04-27T23:21:00.001+08:00

Hah, that's so me when I stay at hotel rooms.

2011-04-22T21:44:00.003+08:00

http://youtu.be/tSdELZxEnHY?hd=1

2011-04-12T22:53:00.000+08:00

The scariest part in being loved by someone is the uncertainty that they may stop anytime.

2011-04-11T00:11:00.001+08:00

Too much commitments. I'm working too hard and too much. I hardly have anytime for myself that I'm suffocating, I'm dying. I'm totally worned out, sick and tired. I'm tired of all these. Fuck it.

2011-04-07T23:59:00.004+08:00

Before this, We were just complete strangers. We became friends, to lovers. We became lovers, to friends. And now, we're back to lovers and I never want to return it to friend again. Please make this last. For as much as I'll do, I'll do. I love chu my boy :)

2011-04-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

2011-04-01T23:35:00.002+08:00

It was never enough. I miss you so much now.

2011-03-25T23:55:00.001+08:00

It have always beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen a pleasant thing to have your boyfriend studying in the same college as you, isn't it?
I have always liked that.

In a couple of months, it's going to happen.

2011-03-25T23:53:00.001+08:00

QUIT YOUR JOB
BUY A TICKET
GET A TAN
FALL IN LOVE
NEVER RETURN

Unfortunately, I'm doing the opposite of everything except line 4.

2011-03-19T23:27:00.002+08:00

Today is my boyfriend's birthday!
Its his 20th!!!!

We're growing up! Together :)

2011-03-18T00:46:00.004+08:00

We'll be going to places like this...

And if I took F&N as my subject 2 years back..... Be sure I'll bake you yummy icing cakes.

~~I'm~~ We're living in a fairytale. Yes, just the two of us. We are.

2011-03-12T00:30:00.003+08:00

Hi my dear bittersuga-r..

I'm sorry for neglecting you always... I've been real busy, coping with work and my online stuffs.

I really love this blog alot, its been through alot with me. With all my sad stories written down, each and everyday. Not forgetting the happy ones too.

I'm getting too spoiled. But I'm spoiling myself with my own money. Is this still considered spoilt? Hahahaha.

I've stopped taking poocket money from Dad & Mom ever since the start of 2011. I've been spending my own money since then, alot I must say.

Oh and anyway bi have dropped the idea of keeping a dog. So, I did not buy a dog for him :(

Which is rather sad.

Alright, till then.

#prayforjapan #prayfortheworld

If only

2011-03-08T22:44:00.002+08:00

2011-03-08T22:30:00.001+08:00

Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore."

2011-03-06T00:50:00.001+08:00

2011-03-04T00:48:00.003+08:00

I want my hair to grow fast.
I want my hair to grow fast.
I want my hair to grow fast.

And not to mention, my smartpac mail that contain my shopping loots will arrive tmrw at my house doorstep! YAY!

Dog farm trip with the boy on Saturday morning! YES, we're on our way to get him his puppy! And we've bickered over the puppy's name for like 20minutes and after so long, he decided to be a gracious boyfriend and give in to me.......

So his puppy will be named : POCKY. ^^

NOTICE:

2011-02-27T23:56:00.002+08:00

Strictly lovers.

Life is becoming more and more busy lately! And I'm expecting a whole lot of changes soon...
Instead of studying in RP for 3 years to get my diploma certificate, I'll maybe be studying in SIM for 3 years to get my diploma and degree cert.
Its a last minute decision. I know I'm stupid. But I'm gonna stand.

I'm gonna spend 3 years studying in SIM, spending over 30k just for that 2 certificates. Actually, amounting to all the sums, 30k for 3 years and getting 2 certificates is still much better than spending 16k in RP just getting a diploma cert.

Just hope my 3 years and dad and mom's hard earned 30k won't go down the drain! I promise to study hard and by the age of 20, I'll be holding a diploma and degree certificate! ^^

Yeah, so thats an update about my studies plans...
As for my current status, I'm still happily working in the yogurt shop :)

Am having the thoughts of opening an online apparels blogshop by directly importing clothings from Thailand to my blogshop to sell! And yes, I'll be away for a shopping spree during April in Bangkok! I seriously can't wait to drown myself in the pool of clothings!

Yeah, till then! <3

2011-02-19T00:38:00.002+08:00

I look back at everything.
Re-read the blog entires from last year...

I'm glad I never gave up.

The next time my child ask me who's the love of my life, I want to be able to point him out right accross the room.
♥

2011-02-19T00:37:00.001+08:00

2011-02-18T23:49:00.003+08:00

I seriously hope happy moments like this will last forever. I want us to be happy this way, forever.

But.....even the sweetest chocolate has its expiry date. There's bound to be a day that we'll not stay as sweet as now... But all I hope is that we'll be pull through and still stay together.

I'm gonna spend your birthday with you once again, the third birthday already my sweety. You're turning 20 years old. WOW, you're really GROWING so fast man..
But don't worry, I'll always love you and I'll stay with you to spend your 21st, 22nd, 23rd...so on and forth birthdays with you...

I really hope there won't be any obstacles in front of us anymore. We fought so hard to get each other back again. I never want us to be seperated..

Although the tough part has yet to come....but I'm sure even if I get into a new school, made a whole lot of new friends.... my heart will still stay true to you. :) I promise that to you.

:)

I love you.

And my dream is to be your wife and bear you kids, yes, seriously. :)

2011-02-15T22:34:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentines' Day!!!!!!!

I spent my Valentines' with my one & only lover. Yes I love him so much! For those who're still wondering.......Hmm... Yes & yes, I'm back with my ex boyfriend!
That only guy that made me cry so hard, that only guy I couldn't get over, that only guy I'd ever love so much...

Congrats me please?!

Many of my close friends are happy because they know I'm genuinely happy.

I'm actually glad, glad that all my friends actually wished me happiness and approving us and all. Like....Some friends will restrict you from getting close to that guy who broke your heart.
But my friends did not, perhaps they really feel that this time we'll be all right.

Yes oh holy.

I'm so happy and over the moon!!!! Like finally, the wait had proved to be worthwhile. :)

14 february

2011-02-14T00:11:00.003+08:00

isn't just a normal Valentines' day.
Its the day I found love, the day we started.

Till now, it've been 2 years.
I thank god for everything. That longest time that we're apart. I forgive you for all your wrongdoings, I knew I played apart for our seperation. I looked back, I seen through everything. For every mistake I made, I broke your heart. I promise not to do it anymore.
I promise to love you with every single beat of my heart, yes, I mean it.

I'll always love you, yes, I mean it.

I am

2011-02-13T23:54:00.002+08:00

going to spend 14 February with the same man thrice :)

2009, 2010, 2011.

This year, the third :)

Whenever

2011-02-12T23:21:00.002+08:00

I'm outside, I'd get the sudden feel to blog.

But when I'm at home, all the feelings just cease. (I don't blog via blackberry)

Yeah, just some updates about my life.
I'm gonna find another part time job. Then, I'll be holding 2 jobs. More income for me ^^

Valentines' just a couple of days away.

People have been asking me how I'm gonna spend it...

The thing is, I've found my Valentine :)

Happy Valentines' Day!
♥
Love is in the air.

2011-02-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

My life

2011-02-08T11:00:00.002+08:00

have been mundane..
Work is becoming boring.. I can even dream of myself squeezing yogurt...

Everyone's busy with their life.
All I hope for now is school to start soon. I can't wait to enter poly life!!! :)

Happy cny btw :)

It always will be..

2011-02-08T10:54:00.002+08:00

Love is like grass. If you fall on it, it may leave a stain and some temporary pain. But you’ll get over the pain, it will eventually stop hurting. Now maybe the stain ruined your favorite pair of jeans, or maybe it was nothing special that was ruined, but either way the stain remains there. And with time, it will begin to fade, but it will always be there, a permanent reminder that you, too, once fell.

2011-02-03T22:35:00.000+08:00

Imagine my surprise when you decide to love me back.

Yes, you.
Love, me.

I am

2011-01-31T22:44:00.002+08:00

going to plan beautiful outings for us.
I will take meaningful pictures of us.
I will do everything to make our relationship stay strong.
I'll trust, have faith in you and most importantly, love you.

2011-01-30T20:13:00.003+08:00

Have everything turned for the better or worse?
Have the wait been proved to be worthwhile?
Have we proved everyone wrong?

I'm too afraid to say anything now.

2011-01-26T00:19:00.001+08:00

Nobody understands how much I miss you, miss how much we used to talk and miss all the thing we use to do. I try not to admit it to myself that I still feel this way. Nobody knows that I still wake up thinking of you and I really do miss you. I would give up everything I have to be everything we’re not.

When are kisses given

2011-01-24T23:32:00.001+08:00

OH MY GOD

2011-01-23T00:15:00.003+08:00

my new blog template doesn't indicate any date and day?!?!?

:(

just some rambling and rants.

2011-01-19T22:26:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I feel so weird, so outta place, so empty, so different, so hollow...

I don't know what's up with me.. I do not want to talk about issues regarding you anymore in here, I'm just repeating myself again and again. I'm just causing misery and sorrows to myself.
What for?

I'm contented that I'm finally independent, being able to stand on my own feet, being able to earn my monthly expenses, being able to......be without you..

No one can trust just how weak I was. I was really such a weakling in the past. I meet my boyfriend everyday. I see him everyday, I always think I can't live without him, that my days will be dark without him and all...
I belittled myself so much that I've been hiding my true, independent self.

Actually, everyone can be strong and independent. I'm not saying this just for fun, its for real - I underwent everything and I clearly know how it feels.

I was a cry baby, a clingy girlfriend, a worrying girl. I'm everything that describes the word - weak.

I was literally weak. Everyone consoled and persuaded me to give up and move on. Some even tried to prove my worthiness and my strength.

I was no longer that cries herself to sleep every night. I was no longer that girlfriend that gives a call to her boyfriend every half to one hour. I became independent and went with the flow.

I stood firm to the ground. My heart was broken but I'm still strong.

Everything I went through just made me tougher.

As cliche as it sounds - "what doesn't kill makes you stronger."

8 months ago

2011-01-17T17:16:00.002+08:00

I had no friends, no nothing. I stick to my boyfriend all day long that I was isolated from the rest of my friends

8 months later,
This is where I am now.

2011-01-15T01:16:00.001+08:00

It’s just a horrible feeling to say goodbye to someone you care about that much.

2011-01-14T01:17:00.001+08:00

Its a 14th today and also a Friday.

Ever since I've got together with you on 2009, I've been keeping a close lookout on the calender to specially highlight every 14th of the month which is on a Friday. And today, is one of them.

Very sadly, we won't be even able to celebrate together today. Our 23rd months together.

Next month will be our 2 year anniversary.

And all I can say is, I miss you and I'll still wait. Trust me baby.

Today was special

2011-01-10T23:47:00.004+08:00

It finally marks the last day of me stepping in East View as a student! I am finally out of this school!
Headed to school awkwardly and collected my 'O' level certificate. It was a weird feeling, not knowing to be happy or sad. Scared and nervous, everything just adds in to the mood and atmosphere.
Stepped in the hall and my heart was beating at 1000000times/s that it almost jumped out of my throat! I was so nervous already and yet Veera still had the cheek to chase me out of the hall just because of my hair colour! *&^%&*^%&^%$!!!!

Sprayed my hair to charcoal black and went in the hall again! It was receiving results time.....everyone took their time........so did I......
I laid my ass on the chair and was already crying.....and Miss Tan said..."take your time to look through the booklet, you may get into a Polytechnic."

And I was in a un-calm state. My mind was like "Huh?!? Only may get into a Polytechnic?! Means cannot get into ah? I'm doomed!"

I got back to my seat and look at my certificate and saw my English grade. I cried non-stop(for that moment, I was producing liquid free-flowingly)
I see. I cry. I see again. I CRY EVEN LOUDER. Imagine how drama am I?!?!

I opened the envelope which contains my COP and also the number of courses I'm eligible for. (srsly, it took me so long to open that god damn envelope and I was crying lika baby!!!!)

I finally open and I don't know how to read it and I don't know why there's so many C67,C99,N55 all these! Then I still crying, cannot stop one.
And I don't know how to see my COP! Finally I figured out and I was like "OMG, SO HIGH GO WHERE STUDY? ITE? PRIVATE? RETAKE? OR GO JUMP BULDING??"
Then I start crying again.......... then Jessie told me the C67.C99,N55 is all poly courses! HAHAHAHHAHAHA. -.-

Then I cry so long then realise I can go Polytechnic. Yes, dumb!
Anyway I passed all my subjects! However, the only disappointing one would be my English :(
I regretted writing so neatly for the examiner that I do not have ample time to finish up my composition! URGHHH. KILL ME.

Anyway, MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT, Please learn how to read COP and the C67,C989,N55 all these! If not will end up like me, CRY FOR NOTHING.

Nevertheless, it was a happy day for me :)

"Never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary."

2011-01-08T14:42:00.003+08:00

Is this quote even justified?

If a girl

2011-01-07T23:07:00.001+08:00

is stupid enough to love you after you broke her heart, I guarantee you, she is the one.

viatumblr.

Alright,

2011-01-07T00:25:00.004+08:00

This shall be the last post published using my current lappy.
Reason being, I'm gonna get a new lappy soon!

This lappy was a gift from my uncle for my 16th birthday last year...... Its a very expensive and nice lappy that cost near to 3k....LOL.
I love this lappy very much, but I have to let go of this baby as Mom have already ordered my new Hp lappy to be delievered to our house doorstep by next week.

Yeah......
I really can't bear to leave this lappy....as most of this post written here are published by this baby.... I am a very sentimental person that goes for old things rather than new.
Not good right :(

But well, like Mom said, "the old don't go, the new won't come..."

I guess this quote applies in my relationship too!

All e best to me receiving my new lappy next week :)

Byebye everyone :0

I can

2011-01-06T22:25:00.001+08:00

be your wife, bear you kids, provide you with a cosy warm home, make you breakfast, tie your tie, make you coffee.
I can and I will.

I love you.

Just maybe,

2011-01-06T00:13:00.002+08:00

One day we could both switch identities. You'll be me for a day, and I'll be you for a day.

Maybe just then, you'd know it isn't easy to hang on so long? With your hot and cold attitude towards me. With you giving me all the false hopes and leave me hanging halfway..
Maybe, just then you'll know how painful it'll be for me.

But, sorry, I just can't bear to put you in such pain.

2011-01-06T00:05:00.000+08:00

2011-01-05T18:13:00.002+08:00

When you want to leave.

Have you ever thought of the consequences?

you never did, did you?

what am i when

2011-01-04T23:18:00.001+08:00

you love me, you miss me, you need me.
and you do nnot give me a status?

And know whats the best part? I love you too, very much, actually.

2011-01-03T01:03:00.002+08:00

First of all, happy new year!
A new year, a new start and a new me. Many things have changed and I don't know how to react to it. I felt like there's so many things holding me back from starting anew.
Feeling like jumping back into the old hole and hide myself up from everyone..

Oh anyway more updates about me is I'm starting on a new job. Heheheheheheeee. Nice working environment and the best damn thing is that I can wear my favourite denim shorts! No more long pants!

2011, which means I've grown 1 year older, just like everyone else.
A year older, I promise to be more sensible and obedient. I will stop throwing my princess tantrums as and when I love. I will learn to................ move on!
HAHHAHAHA. IKR. That's the most important thing. To move the fuck on.
Yeah, till then.

Last post for 2010

2010-12-31T19:41:00.003+08:00

THis will be my last post for 2010.

Year 2010 haven't been a smooth year for me. Along these time, I've lost many things, unwillingly.

There were many ups and downs faced this year. Losing the one I love most and knowing he isn't fighting to keep me...
This is probably the gazillion trillion zillion time I said. But I'm still gonna say it. I give up on this man, seriously.
True enough, this period of time I thought, I thought really hard. I've seen things that I couldn't believe. But its true.

Living together happily ever after? He love me and I love him? Bearing him kids?
Reality slapped me hard in the face.

This 7months wouldn't be futile as I finally woke up from my silly fantasies.

Goodbye 2010, goodbye the lover.

2010-12-31T18:21:00.002+08:00

Boy: I broke up with her.

His Best Friend: What happened?

Boy: She’s just too much for me.

His Best Friend: What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy: Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..

Boy: Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..

Boy: But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..

Boy: I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..

Boy: Well, she..

His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?

Boy: I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?

His Best Friend: You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.

This could relate very much to us. You lost me.

My new year resolutions

2010-12-30T23:18:00.003+08:00

1) Hit gym on every consecutive days.
2) Respect Dad & Mom.
3) Spend quality time with family.
4) Earn more money
5) Get some label bags for myself

Yes, so the list shall remain this short for the time being. As the shorter it is, the easier it'll be to achieve. :)

Since work at Tangs have ended, I'm currently enjoying every single seconds of my life spent single.
But happy moments don't last, I'm been splurging money like crazy and I've literally run out of cash.
I've got my new baby a red Longchamp bag, my second branded label handbag already.
Pampered myself with a classic manicure and pedicure few days back.

Been learning to love myself more and more. And I think that's something worth to be happy about.

Till then, happy new year :)

In 2011.

2010-12-30T00:27:00.000+08:00

I'll be stronger.

I hope one day

2010-12-29T00:25:00.001+08:00

you'll look back, think of me and then say....

"I should've stayed with her."

2010-12-27T01:07:00.002+08:00

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO INCORRIGIBLY SELFISH. THINGS HAVE CHANGED. WAKE UP PLEASE.

Its breaks my heart to see you this way.

Dream

2010-12-26T01:13:00.004+08:00

Its been so long and finally, I've gotten over you.

I got to know a new boy. We've just got together and its been quite some time since I felt happiness this way.

That day, we went out and on the way home I saw the ex boyfriend. I walked up the bus with my new boy's hands wrapped around my waist. I saw him sitting alone at the back of the seat. He was alone, he looked lonely. I so wanna walk up to him and lie on his shoulders like how I always did in the past.
But this time, it was different. I was with my new boy. And I can't do this to him. I walked to the middle seat to settle myself. I didn't tell my boy about anything. I pretended like I did not see the ex boyfriend at all. We alighted the bus..
The ex boyfriend remain seated at the back seat. I don't know if he did notice me with my new boy.
But if he did, that's good. Since moving on was always what he wanted for me.

That was what I dreamt about last night. It wasn't a sweet dream to have a new boyfriend. But rather a nightmare. I woke up and found myself in tears. I told everyone I've given up on you. But look, now what? I can't. I still can't..

PS: It's just a dream, not for real.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T00:18:00.002+08:00

It's a lively festival and its been merry with the lovely lightings and the crowd of people that welcomes Christmas.

As for me..... I'm regretful for spending my Christmas eve this way. Walking aimlessly in town... Avoiding..... and staring at lovely dovey couples. The atmosphere in Town is very intense and lively. It just brings up all the Christmas mood for everyone there. However, it did not work on me.
I was lonely. I wasn't alone. I was with thousands and thousands of people. And reason for being lonely remains unknown(but most could probably figure out why).

I'm not trying to be an emo fuck to spend this Christmas this way. But it isn't up to me as well.
For the past few days, I tried my best to stay as cheerful as I could. I was anticipating this day... But guess it just didn't work out. I...I am so disappointed with myself.

Contradictions.

2010-12-24T00:30:00.004+08:00

In a relationship, there'll always be one party being loved less by the other. And when the one loving less decides to love more, the party who've been loving the other more will have already decide to leave..

So........

In our relationship, who've been loved more and who've been loved less?

Keep the answers in your heart. As what you see may not be how it is. Like an unsolved riddle.

I thought so.

2010-12-21T02:53:00.003+08:00

You left me awake, staying up at this hour. Being unable to get to sleep just at the thought of you.

I've been thinking.

Thinking about what've happened during this 7months, including the time we're together as a couple. Think about it, I'm silly.

I thought my love for you could stand strong despite all the barriers I am away from you. I thought of everything that was impossible yet I made it possible.

Now, I've come to a point, realizing there's absolute no reason in staying here any longer.

Love was supposed to be selfless, not selfish.
I'm being selfish now. Is this love? I can't tolerate all the definitions of love that tell us of how love should be/should not be. My mind is in a whirl.
I'm breaking down and giving up.

I'm going away, and won't be back anymore.

Because

2010-12-20T00:35:00.000+08:00

I love you. And that's my final say.

To wait

2010-12-19T02:29:00.001+08:00

or to move on and start a new beginning.

You know, I can't bear to do so.

Sneak peek

2010-12-17T00:38:00.015+08:00

Will fill up everything by tmrw, if possible :)

If only

2010-12-14T00:10:00.002+08:00

we made it till today.
Happy 22nd months and I love you very much.

All that was written on the xmas card was crap 'i love you as a friend.'
Sorry, I was lying through my teeth also. I can't love you as a friend.

2010-12-13T23:28:00.002+08:00

Hello! How's everyone today? I hate today :( Not because its a 13th or what but because its a rainy and wet day which totally ruined my plans! Initially, I planned to deliver the shirt to that boy. However, once I alight the bus, it started pouring(fml right). Then I didn't want to wet myself neither do I want my make up to dissolve in the rain. So I ditched the idea of delivering the shirt to him, I took the shirt with me to Town!

But Town's disappointing as well. Walked around the whole FEP lika idiot, alone, yet I found nothing(yes i love shopping alone, it makes me feel less stress).
Walked over to Tangs to find the girls and headed to Somerset(my favourite shopping spot!!!) F21, NEWLOOK, HULA&CO!!!!!!!!!!

Walked for 2 whole hours and only got myself a head accessories(which wenhui the angel said it looks nice but aly the bitch said its not). LOLOLOLOLLLLLL.

Headed back to Tangs and waited for them to knock off before heading to Kallang! Hehe had Nihon Mura for dinner and that's how my day ended.

Signing off with my tongue piercing! LOL and it spells doom because I'm working tomorrow! :(

MIxed feeling

2010-12-13T10:50:00.003+08:00

Guys lie, they crap and bullshit all night long. They lie to get in your heart, they lie to have fun, they lie to make you hurt. They all lie through their god damn teeth.

Liars liars liars. Guys are nothing but liars, a very good one in fact.

Perhaps the past me was just too pure and innocent. I didn't know you'd lie as well. But after all these time, I've learnt, I've seen through many things. I've a clearer picture of everything.
I was naive. But I won't let history repeat itself again.

2010-12-12T23:04:00.004+08:00

My life revolves around work now. Its almost working everyday and I'm kinda sick of it. So today's my off day and I took the opportunity to head town for shopping at fep! Indeed it's my favourite shopping spot, managed to get a bag before heading off to Tangs. Hehehe.

Dropped the idea of getting another 'fcuk' shirt for that boy as I guess it's gonna be redundant.
Walked around, shopped around and wanted to have some curled extensions on my head but realised it's oh-so-old-fashion, so once again dropped the silly idea. Heheh.

Trained to Downtown and bickered with sis on the way there on deciding where to dine! I was fuming mad and was on the verge of crying. In the end... I still gave in to her. See what a wonderful younger sister I am.

Headed home aftermath. And tata! This is the nerd/bare/plain me.

Nevertheless, it's a 13th tomorrow and I can't help to think about you, about us.

I love you but this marks our seperation for 7months...and i'll still be waiting.

2010-12-12T12:05:00.001+08:00

I never want to love another.

2010-12-11T01:13:00.001+08:00

While walking I heard an old lady say, "I've been in love with the same man for almost 50 years." I was touched but then she said "I wish he knew."

Few months back..

2010-12-09T01:58:00.008+08:00

pardon that tummy

THIS WAS ME

Yet now, I gained so much weight and its time to be hardworking and shed off some kilos. Oh.. I'll work for it, just watch me :)

2010-12-09T01:28:00.016+08:00

It was an offday for me. So I went out to Town(yes, again) to meet some of my ladies..

All pictures taken using my bb as my camera have gone on a vacation. I apologise for the low quiality of pictures anyway :)

2010-12-07T00:30:00.003+08:00

So well.
Enough of emo posts in this blog. I want to jot down my everyday life to so that when I read back the past archives, I'll still remember hur! :)

Yup, O's have ended and I've gotten myself many event jobs! I forsake the position as a 'sales assistant' at Far East Plaza as the pay wasn't up to my expectation. Hence, I only worked 1 day for that and left hehehehe. :) But its good, as I'm working in a guys apparels shop, I get to see many eyecandy every couple of minutes and serve them as well ^^ Hehehehe.

Ok, back to events job! Yes I'm taking up the second event job currently. And the first one was a showgirl in Sitex and the pay was like very very generous. However for that, I only worked for a couple of days. :(

Currently I'm working as a gift wrapper in Town and its quite boring as Christmas' is still a few weeks away. After this 3 week, it's time to enjoy myself a little before I get another full-time job. As what my friend said, event jobs are quite inconsistent. Certain times you'll be damn rich and sometimes you'll be bankrupt. Lol.

Yup thats all about it. Should be meeting my eyecandy tomorrow night. Oh, I mean tonight(since now is already tuesday heheheh).
Wish me luck and byebye. Will update this space with pictures and more lively posts!

And please pardon sad/emo posts as I'll still post them every now and then as I'm still insecure.

Happy

2010-12-06T00:24:00.003+08:00

I think, today should be the happiest day I ever had ever since May(the break up season).
Being able to see you for a moment was enough. I hope I'm not thinking too much, I don't wanna pin on false hopes and fall badly after that.
However, today's a day to remember. Oh no, I mean yesterday night. 5December :)

Contented. Very.
And I'm looking forward to more of such.
I love you, still.

I would like to start over, please

2010-12-05T00:41:00.002+08:00

I..I.. have so much to say. Everything. How much you meant to me and how fucking bad I wished for things to not turn out this way. I fucking hate the fact that we're apart. Its not the distance between our two bodies. Its the distance of our heart, and I'm hurting so much that I feel like I'm suffocated.

I feel like...dying. Because its too painful.

Because right now,

2010-12-04T21:46:00.002+08:00

all I have are memories which hurt to remember. It's a painful uphill journey, going through each day without you and knowing you do not care. There are moments which I think that it's gonna be a different day, when things may just finally fall into place but those are just moments that fade away rapidly, in a measure of a heartbeat.

December.

2010-12-01T00:15:00.004+08:00

I don't ~~know how~~ want to move on.

Its December already. Nothing have changed between us. Those cryings, wishing, hoping, begging are of zero use.
Up till now, seven months have past and I'm still convinced that it was entirely my fucking fault for not giving you enough reasons to stay..
I lost it, I lost you, baby.

Many people have been questioning me, "really no more chance for you two?"

She was right, the longer it drags, the tougher it'll be for us to patch things up. I'm almost used to life without you.. But I miss you.

Its tough.

2010-11-30T21:29:00.001+08:00

November will end in another couple of hours...

I'm stucked up.

I want to remember

2010-11-30T00:37:00.003+08:00

I hope this is just a temporary feeling. But, honestly, I'm starting to forget you and the past we once had. I don't like this feeling and I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Is my memory failing me?

PS: No, please don't misunderstand me. I did not know any new guys nor have I stepped into another relationship.

What's all these about?

2010-11-29T00:55:00.002+08:00

Christmas is nearing, 2010 is ending..
What's becoming of us? Complete strangers? Friends?

Its painful.. 2010 is ending, 2011 will be a new start. Everything will start all over again, but why can't our love be the same as well? Can't we?
Can't we just forget this hurting part? I know you feel hurt too. Can't we get back together again? Just this time? Because I love you.

All alone

2010-11-26T02:11:00.000+08:00

Move on.

2010-11-24T01:13:00.002+08:00

But my heart doesn't want to.

I'm starting to find it difficult to remember the times we spent together. I'm starting to....finding reasons to give up.

I don't want to. But you're pushing me to the corner and I'm left with no choice.

What's the world without you

2010-11-23T17:03:00.002+08:00

I miss those days you got so so so mad when I gave my number to some guys. I miss those days when you were jealous...

That very special day you came up my house for the first time and baked pizzas together and I introduced you to my family. My family liked you so much. I miss those days and I miss you so much.

I really want to get back to you again. I really want you to address me as your bebe again. I want to hold your hands. I want to be your girlfriend again.

Totally broken..

2010-11-23T14:46:00.004+08:00

I wish to pick up these pieces all by myself. I don't need another guy. Because, I only want you.

Once upon a time

2010-11-17T01:41:00.001+08:00

Yes, this was us. In early this year.

I'm not a superwoman, nor am I a wondergirl

2010-11-17T01:05:00.003+08:00

I'm just an ordinary girl without any extraordinary powers. I need love, your love.

Right from the start, I'm thrown with hundreds and thousands of reasons on why should I give up on you and on this downright hopeless relationship..

Our broken relationship was beyond repair. You knew it, and you decided to give up fighting. I knew that too, but I did not give up. I wanted future for us. I fought for us. I stayed, and I waited. I waited for the right moment, I keep finding the right words to say to you.

Even till now.. I'm sad to say, half a year have past. Nothing have changed between us. You're still you. And, I am still myself. I'm still waiting and you're still not giving us another chance. We could make it, if you chose to. But we did not, simply because you refuse.
I'm done trying and waiting. I'm done losing sleep over you and cry at the thought of you. You're driving me insane. And the reason is because I love you. I really do.
And we're really not gonna make it. We've parted for half a year. How could we ever get back to where we once were? How can I make us happy again? How? I'm willing to do everything for you. And you know, I will.

I'm still waiting, and I'll wait.

Finding the right words to say to you

2010-11-16T02:23:00.004+08:00

"I love you" and "Goodbye".

That's all, I'm waiting and perhaps I can't love you like how I did in the past anymore. I need to show you that I'm fine without you even deep inside I'm dying. I hope you won't chance upon this post(anyway, its very less likely for you to).
I just love you, and since you request for me to give up on you time and again. This time, I'm gonna give up. Yes, I'm gonna act as I've given up.

Deep down, I'm still waiting. I'm still the old me, waiting for you. :')
I believe in us, I really do.

2010-11-15T18:22:00.001+08:00

The greatest distance on earth is not from north to south. It is when I am standing right in front of you and you do not know that I love you.

I saw you again, today.

2010-11-14T20:39:00.004+08:00

How would it feel to have the person you love, telling you that he won't love you anymore?
It'll hurt, isn't it?

My heart is breaking into a zillion pieces for you, yet I do not mind the pain and all the insults I have to bear from you. I'm still holding onto you despite people calling me a fool. But they were right. What a fool am I.

I love you, and I can't hold on any longer. I'm giving up on you, its painful to know that you're not going to love me anymore. But, I'll stay strong because I love you.

I was wrong, I thought we may have a chance again after my O levels. But I'm totally wrong. O's are over, you're not doing anything to us. You're simply leaving me hurting. I misinterpreted your intentions. I looked too much into things, I was wrong. You're just showing concern to me as a friend, nothing else.

2010-11-14T16:08:00.000+08:00

I can't handle the pain.

I miss us

2010-11-14T15:38:00.003+08:00

14 november 2009.

Hmm, you promised to not leave me alone, you promised to not give up on this relationship. You promised to make me your wife.
Well, promises are meant to be broken..